I found one such website...it's fodder for many a blogpost to come. The Liz Library just can't say enough about how completely unnecessary a father is. Except, of course, for that sticky little subject of the actual conception of a child, according to The Liz Library a father is pretty much unnecessary to the health and well-being of any child. Got it dads? We simply don't need you.
As I read just a sampling of articles and comments that Elizabeth J. Kates, Attorney at Law has compiled I felt like I was one of those cartoon characters who starts to get hot under the collar...skin flushed...the red creeping up my neck...puffs of steam shooting out of my ears until I clicked on the link where I discovered she actually has a RADIO SHOW where she publicly makes the kind of comments I was reading...
...and my head exploded.
So, without further ado - Ms. Kates has compiled a large list of successful people who grew up in father-absent homes to support her claims of your (and dads...I'm talking to you, here) complete and utterly useless existence in your child's life.
Lets start with the Presidents of the United States...the list is long and as I clicked on the name of each one a very striking trend began to appear...
U.S. President Gen. George Washington - father died
U.S. President Thomas Jefferson - father died
U.S. President James Monroe - father died
U.S. President Andrew Jackson - father died
U.S. President Andrew Johnson - father died
U.S. President Rutherford B. Hayes - father died
U.S. President James A. Garfield - father died
U.S. President Grover Cleveland - father died
U.S. President Herbert Hoover - father died
U.S. President Gerald Ford - abusive father
U.S. President William Jefferson Clinton - father died
U.S. President Barack Obama - parents divorced
Hmmmm....Just for fun I interviewed President General George Washington and got his take on all this.
Me: So, Mr. President...when your father died at age 10 were you relieved that you no longer had this useless man in your life and could fulfill your great destiny as the father of our country?
Gen. Washington: Errr...No. I missed him terribly and cried my eyes out nightly. But I always remembered what he'd had a chance to teach me in those 10 years of life that I got to spend with him.
Me: Oh...well you must attribute your ability to achieve great things due to the close relationship you had with your mother. Because, we all know, that as long as you've got your mother and forge a close bond with her you don't need a dad.
General Washington: Errr...No. I do love my mother, but actually I was sent to live with my older half brother after my father died.
Me: Oh....well, Mr. President you aren't cooperating very well with this theory that you are a great man in part...or at the very least...despite the fact that you had no father or father figure in your life.
General Washington: Errr...well, I thought it was a stupid theory to begin with.
Me: So, what you're saying is that if you could have had your father in your life for your entire childhood you would have welcomed that opportunity?
General Washington: Of course...what kid doesn't want a loving father to be part of their life?
Me: Good point, Mr. President.
I know...I know...I'm being a little facetious here, but its the only way I know how to respond to what I consider absolutely ridiculous claims that a loving caring father is not an asset to a child's life and well-being.
Let me rephrase that...A loving caring father is an asset to a child's life and well-being.
How do I know this? I know this because my father was an asset to my life...actually, he still is. Oh, and my husband's father is an asset to his life and still is. And I'll bet if I start to poll the children of those men out there that really want a relationship with their kids I will find that their children can even see a reason for their dad to be around. They may express it in different ways...but ultimately the meaning behind the words is the same.
MY DAD CONTRIBUTES POSITIVELY TO MY LIFE.
A 16-year old might say, "We have fun playing basketball together."
A 10 year old might say, "He taught me how to beat the hard part in that video game."
A 6 year old might say, "He takes me out for icecream."
A 3 year old might say, "Daddy play with me."
Even President Obama, the President to have experienced a situation most similar to what many of your children are experiencing...even he said, "[My father] had left paradise, and nothing that my mother or grandparents told me could obviate that single, unassailable fact," he later reflected. "They couldn't describe what it might have been like had he stayed."
Even as a man who had achieved the most powerful position in the world, Barrack Obama sounds like a little boy who wishes with all his heart that he'd had a chance to spend time with his father.
Now if THAT doesn't speak volumes louder than the dribble offered up on Ms. Kate's radio show...I'll eat my blog.
And now I'm leaving The Liz Library, but can't help but add the best part of Ms. Kate's long list... At the very bottom in small type you find this little gem, "(Interesting, though, how "motherlessness" is almost glorified in our society, e.g. Disney.) At thelizlibrary.org, we don't "hate men". We hate lies."
ha ha ha...ho ho ho...hee hee hee...Thats a good one, Liz.
Now my parting thought...Dads...we DO need you.